Wow! I get a gold star! While in a chat with AT&T Business I didn’t have to use any swear words, I didn’t fantasize about throwing a lit Molotov cocktail at their HQ building, and I didn’t cheer when the Death Star exploded. I mean, I was very ready for all that, but they shocked me by actually demonstrating competence. Of course, the sponge of competence is now squeezed dry, so all that’s left is shenanigans and fuckery, but hey, it worked! #infotech #att #DeathStar #GloriousIncompetence

If you wanted to stochastically terrorize a retail establishment, say, Best Buy, you’d add a Samsung SSD T9 1TB to a cart and then close your browser. I kinda wonder what would happen if everyone added rational bits and bobs to a cart and let it rot. I imagine that would create a fine tap of comedy. Oh look, Best Buy would like to remind me that the Samsung SSD T9 is in my cart! Awww… #infotech #NotRightNow #MaybeLater #HoldYourBreath

I despise the algorithm patois that worsens all our language online.

"Comedian EVISCERATES Trump supporters with basic fact"

"Ben Shapiro DESTROYS college student"

"Nancy Pelosi EXPLODES over migrant issue"

We are talking like this to appease machines, not people. It fucking sucks. It's poisonous, escalatory, and needlessly violent speech.