I’ve been on Mastodon for 6 months, just changed servers, and — given the prevalent “this is it” feeling of other Twitter castaways this week — it feels a good time to re-re-introduce myself.

I am a survivor of clergy sexual abuse from Greater Boston — I was one of them kids. My writing sprouts rhizomatically from there and then through autofiction based on 16 years of dream-journaling, episodic dissociation, recalls of abuse, alcohol addiction and recovery, a sensitivity to ephemera and eternal return.

Following a stroke 12 years ago I became a certified personal trainer. Further into recovery I co-hosted wellness seminars for fellow survivors of sexual abuse. Ambulatorily-disabled upon being hit by a 65+mph car 5+ years ago, I now walk with the assistance of a shillelagh. I continue to train in San Miguel Eskrima.

I’m on social media primarily out of concern over COVID and fascism. A recluse, offline I keep to myself. But I’ve also never met a stranger.

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Interests & Concerns: #Beckett #Camus #MaggieNelson #PattiSmith #Deleuze #DeleuzeAndGuattari #SituationistInternational #Semiotics #Semiotexte #JudithButler #cptsd #nonbinary #demisexual
#ClergySexualAbuseSurvivor #ClusterHeadaches #Stroke
#zazen #QiGong #Eskrima #dissociation #NearDeathExperiences #OutOfBodyExperiences #SleepParalysis
#Kanashibari #DreamJournaling #autofiction #anarchism #antifascism #AntiCapitalism #ACAB #JapaneseCinema #Oshima #JeanLucGodard #Osaka #Berlin #BuenosAires #StillMasking #AmbulatoryDisability #kettlebell #BodyweightCalisthenics
#chess
#MonoNoAware #WabiSabi

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“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” — Samuel Beckett

"Life, willing to surpass itself, is the good life, and the good life is the courageous life." — Paul Tillich

"All suffering is formative of the identity that endures it." — Catherine Malabou

"To make trouble was, within the reigning discourse of my childhood, something one should never do precisely because that would get one in trouble. The rebellion and its reprimand seemed to be caught up in the same terms, a phenomenon that gave my first critical insight into the subtle ruse of power: the prevailing law threatened one with trouble, even put one in trouble, all to keep one out of trouble. I concluded that trouble is inevitable and the task how best to make it, what best way to be in it." —Judith Butler

"‘Everything develops, and I myself develop as well; and why this is so will one day be apparent,’ was the formula I was obliged to adopt." — Tolstoy

"I feel that it is necessary and ordained that I should be alone, a stranger and an exile in relation to every human circle without exception." — Simone Weil

"At that stage in a piece of writing where people used to look for explanations, I would like them from now on to find a settling of scores." — Raoul Vaneigem

"The only two things that motivate me and that matter to me are revenge and guilt." —Elvis Costello.

"There is a battle going on, more or less conscious, between Duty and Desire. The part of me which belongs to the world wishes to do its duty : the part of me which belongs to God wishes simply to fulfill what is required and which is un-stateable." — Henry Miller

“I do not believe in God and I am not an atheist.” — Albert Camus