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Why I used to lie: get inside my head as a diagnosed #narcissist
"You end up in a place with NPD where you have so many cognitive distortions and you have been doing mental gymnastics for so long inside your own head to protect yourself from reality, from being hurt, from feeling scared, from feeling real emotions, that you end up in this weird distorted place where you are in a hall of mirrors and don't know what is up and down. At that point I genuinely could feel like I was being gaslighted, when I was the one doing the #gaslighting, because I genuinely felt like a victim, I was SO insulted, I felt unjustifiably attacked.
So, I lied for one of two reasons: One, I genuinely believed in my lies and I was doing insane mental gymnastics to protect myself from scary reality which would fuck with my ego, which would fuck with my sense of self, which would make me feel worthless, which would make me want to die.
The other reason I lied was because I just fucking had lack of empathy."