Tits Flanagan @Titsflanagan@kolektiva.social

Going into Target with a shopping list is foolishness. It is hubris. Target will tell you what you need. Target always knows what you need.

Hey folks I regret to inform you that tomorrow is, in fact, another day. We are aware of the issue and are trying to resolve it as soon as possible. Thank you for your patience.

I PROPOSE WE TAKE THE GIANT BOAT AND PUSH IT OUT OF THE CANAL

Aspiring Orb Mother™️

Idk man continuing to post and joke in the group chat after I’ve said my ideation was triggered by the actions of the people in the group seems like a real fuck you idk

Idk man maybe i should delete

My granny always said “People will suit themselves” and my dad always said “No good deed goes unpunished” and I am learning that maybe some points were being made

Does playing the supermarket checkout game in Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing count as being a gamer

I’m realizing... maybe I need new friends? I shouldn’t feel this awful but like bro it’s fucking hard making friends as an adult.

Remember when I used to come on here and drop a hot shitpost

For anyone who might also be a LinkMe beta tester: Deleting my LinkMe account in response to a number of appalling anti-Asian posts being shared by its creator and I would highly suggest that you do the same. I’m not supporting someone who condones the violence that keeps my partner up at night.

Stimothy Dalton

Waiting on my stimmy (short for Stimothy)

*Megan THEE Stallion voice* “Real smooth-brain shit”

My headcanon is that in the Battle of the Orb Mothers, Marianne Williamson would absolutely body Doreen Virtue.

Oh, sorry babe, I just got distracted thinking about the time I heard a white transplant in Silver Lake call chilaquiles “breakfast nachos”

In the words of my favorite saint, Therese of Lisieux, “hon hon hon”

Time And Relative Dimension In Space innit

Anyway some insta-famous PNW witch decided to start something today and it just so happened I woke up and chose chaos.

It’s such a weird thing where other closed-practice witches have to shit on Irish folk magic and like okay I get it you’re mad at Wicca but... that’s not on us. Gardener did us dirty too. Like do you feel better now? Did you sell more wee candles? Like okay I’m happy for you and I’m sure you need this little dunk so whatever gets you the clout you need to sleep at night.

I have one (1) response to crisis

When the monarchy is dissolved I want $700k to buy a house and a portrait of Oliver Cromwell to wipe my ass with