KerryKerry @Thetheythem@kolektiva.social

Okay I’ll stop complaining about how bad tops are are texting..... now

Tops will say yes when you wanna chat but then are only online at midnight and 5:43pm for 3 minutes.

It’s a relief (I think that’s the word) to come away from a stressful day feeling as though the people in my life somewhat see me. Even if they don’t understand the why or the journey it took to get here or where it’s all heading.

This year, even my family, who struggle with my transition, got me things that somehow were across the many parts of me. A soft rainbow coloured unicorn toy (made from recycled plastics!) - because autistic adult still likes toys and soft things. The train game because I won’t shut up about trains. And a BATTERY DADDY (for sorting and testing batteries) which is so practical and butch and HAS THE WORD DADDY STAMPED ALL OVER IT.

In past years, presenting as femme, my ‘personal brand’ (not my words) was very strong - I wore a lot of clothes from a particular shop because I liked the bright colours and the fabrics felt nice (I didn’t know I was autistic yet). I usually got socks from that shop for low-budget presents.
Even after I stopped presenting as femme, I’d be in flannel and grubby shorts, thanking people for their kind gift of short girly socks.

I got TWO of the train game yesterday. As much as I teased both the givers for being like ‘what do I get a new train driver? Oh I know’ this actually says a lot about how people have begun to perceive me - particularly my family.

Boxing Day! *puts on my boxing gloves and squares up against my courseware*

Bought my cat a fluffy turtle pillow at the op shop and she’s SO HAPPY it makes my heart feel things.

I keep having small momentary reflexive panic that I haven’t bought anyone Christmas presents and then I remember that I’ve been WORKING MY ASS OFF and the real gift is that I left my couch and put on clean clothes to see them.