harbinger (SAGU B-782) @Skellington@kolektiva.social

I'm generally pretty busy these days. I sit at my computer maybe for about fifteen minutes. I have my phone on me, but I tend not to respond to chats because I will become totally derailed from the things I wish to get done.

I am growing weary with people who cannot endure three days of radio silence from me without giving me some kind of ultimatum that I prove that they haven't done anything wrong.

I'm simply busy.

When I was assigned to read Flowers For Algernon I hated it because I got the point.

It's an important point, and no other media puts it so clearly.

Goddamn, it's a bitter truth and I loath getting to see it all the time, even as I feel humbled by the kindness inherent in the salve of forgetting things.

Mom had a bad Algernon Syndrome night last night.

She woke up and started getting the bed ready for Dad (dead) to come to bed. Then she came out and asked me where her husband was.

I used the answer I'd developed in expectation of this event and told her that he was in the hospital and would be coming home next week.

I planted my seeds without any expectation of any of them growing. Today I spy many tiny red Amaranth seedlings and I have given them a very soft and very enthusiastic pep talk and told them of my pride in their accomplishment.

Do me a favor?

Watch this video with the sound off and no subtitles.
Think about what you are observing about the actors and what it looks like might be going on in this situation

Then watch it with the sound on.

It's curious, isn't it?

https://youtu.be/3qqE_WmagjY

Today I am listening to Stravinsky's Firebird and thinking of Robert Landsburg. He was an artist who showed superhuman clarity through his final moments in life. His radical acceptance of conditions around him and his choices in those moments shine as an example to me as I work to accept the conditions of the world around me and choose to live by my values in the face of forces beyond my control.
When all is lost, we don't have to give up. What we do for others can endure beyond our own end.

In two days of talking with competent medical professionals I have radically changed the direction of my care program so that it is now based on my needs and addresses my challenges.

It is very hard not to hope that these changes represent an improvement in my quality of life so I very much feel like a child who gets scolded for getting excited about things.

It's me, I'm that child.

So, not excited, just very very curious.

Sometimes I really miss the old base on Yavin IV.

I had some really great times when I was stationed there.

My unit's team always lost in the sabacc tournies, but we had a lot of fun anyhow.

I think that the Welsh language has finally eaten my brain. Tonight I was making my shopping list and had to spend five minutes trying to decide if "bacon" was spelled with an o or a w.

They both sounded right to me. They both looked right to me.

w is such a useful vowel and I wish we used it in English.

I am having a minor folk music emergency. I want to sing Clishmaclaver's Poverty Knock but I only have the album Roots Entwined on my phone.

Please respect our privacy at this time of suffering.

I love the strange short production runs of Mt Dew flavors, but I picked up a bottle of the Flamin' Hot expecting to do, "taste this, it's disgusting." With Spouse.

Um.

It's fucking delicious.

Not too sweet, dry citrus in the front with a gentle chili glow along the soft palette and throat at the finish.

I'm. In. Love.