Kavelach @Kavelach@kolektiva.social

warning: coffee is a circular dependency

(popes being of course only one example. And rather than "addressed this way", it should be "referred to this way". But y'know what I mean.

Also, I'm on board with the notion that "pope" is a gender. Why the hell not. Someone tell the Vatican, although they probably know by now)

Thinking about the fact there are ppl out there who claim "they/them" personal pronouns are too confusing to wrap one's mind around, and many of those ppl likely not only understand, but embrace the notion that the Pope should be properly called "His Holiness".

"His Holiness" is not a personal pronoun (least of all grammatically), of course. But it's the EXACT same damn principle. "This person is addressed this exact way". It's not rocket science.

I hear a quick knock on the door followed by the patter of feet running down the hall. A note has been slid under my door.

The outside of the small beige envelope on the floor has "For your eyes only" written in small neat script. I open the envelope and remove the note written on thick textured cardstock. It reads, "BUTTCHEEKS."

as ever, i welcome people's responses and reactions, criticisms and critiques, and whatever truths you hold that you wish to share.

all i'm saying is this: if you dread holiday season with your parents and family, i love you, and i wish you all the strength, safety, fortitude and autonomy to disassociate at will and associate on your own terms, and that these decisions to relate to family be fully, consensually yours.

to the entrapped minors: i'm sorry for my failure as an adult that we have yet to burn your social prison to the ground -- i'm working on it.

and hey, if some of you like being with your birth or chosen families and get along great, cheers -- i truly hope there is not one ounce of trauma, manipulation, pressure or abuse of power amongst you, because that behavior is whack af, and you don't owe your parents shit, and they should account for even one instance of harm they've caused you that hasn't yet been addressed.

hot take? divorce is generally good, actually -- a whole lot better than marriage! yet children have no recourse to "divorce" their families, and even if they leave somehow, they get fostered by... *ding* another family! or better yet, becomes wards of... *ding* the almighty abstract daddy, The State! escape is possible on the streets or amongst people who (illegally) take youth in, but each step on the way is a trauma unto itself, and abuse is still rampant.

the family is fundamentally at odds with consent. it's a structure for parents (fathers) to manage their property (stuff, wives, children). in a progressive family, parents own each other equally because they married each other for love (lol give me a break), but they still legally own whatever children they birth or adopt, regardless of how libertarian the parenting style is. any parents trying to sabotage legal parenthood are exclusively seen as neglectful and unfit.

siblings have a special place as co-prisoners in the familial cage, though anybody who knows the bitter taste of domination and oppression knows our limits. sometimes siblings get through in solidarity; as often, the older/bigger ones take out their stress and terror on the younger/smaller ones. this is endearingly called "sibling rivalry" instead of "sibling abuse", yet often, as with bullies in a schoolroom, they are forced to share life together until adulthood.

minors have almost no way to disassociate from family -- their legal position remains essentially fixed from day 1 to 18th birthday. if they choose to do so as legal adults, it's frequently seen as tragic, unfortunate, derisible, "a phase", irresponsible, problematic, etc. it's no secret that many adults feel forcefully bound to their families thru adulthood -- the amount of people in middle age who i know feel duty-bound to their abusive parents is heartbreaking.

freedom of disassociation is primary to freedom of association. consensual relationships are impossible without the ability to leave or end them.

by default, children are born to people not of their choosing. as they grow, they are largely forced to remain within a family they did not choose, even as their autonomy matures. the mechanisms of forced association are many: legal, cultural, psychological, social, institutional, etc.

this is unacceptable.

I don't think and yet I am

🗺 Illustrations of British Fungi (Hymenomycetes), to serve as an atlas to the "Handbook of British Fungi".
LondonWilliams and Norgate1881-91.
http://biodiversitylibrary.org/page/23312656

“Fungal networks underpin life on Earth. If trees are the ‘lungs’ of the planet, fungal networks are the ‘circulatory systems’. These networks are largely unexplored.”
https://www.theguardian.com/science/2021/nov/30/worlds-vast-networks-of-underground-fungi-to-be-mapped-for-first-time

you know that story about the ancap who went to visit some anarchist house in greece, and they were like "wtf are you doing here" and he was like "hey i'm an anarchist!" and they were like "yay!" and then he revealed he was an ancap and they beat the shit out of him and broke his phone?

that's what i want us to do if someone tries to bring web3 here